Beautiful Disaster

You are the God of my broken disaster. You are the God of my here and my after

You were there in my before and you've planned my hereafter.
You are the God of my broken disaster

When my lamp was in pieces you shined down on me
When i walked away you followed after When freedom was replaced by shackles and chains
when the blacksmiths art I did claim
when the lamp that i held to my feet was a match and the choices i made added gasoline

you were there to extinguish the pain

You are the God of my broken disaster
you are the God of my here and my after

When hope wasn't visible from the valley I dug and the dreams that i carried had to be buried
when the years of tears threatened to drown me and the weight of my failures was pulling me under
when the face that looked back from the mirror wasn't mine and the words from my mouth were far from the vine

You carried my heart and called out my name

You are the God of my broken disaster. You are the God of my here and my after.

You picked up the pieces and put them together.
Repair isn't your style. Reinvention is so much better.
You created a masterpiece a one of a kind. Each tiny bit your love redefined.
You transformed my broken shards of pain.
You made every memory into my ministry.

You poured out your spirit and called me by name

you are the God of my here and my after. You are the God of my beautiful disaster.

no longer an orphan but a child i am called.
Once celebrated prodigal, now beloved and friend.
Made new by the blood and purposed for life
A veil has been lifted and your glory is reflected.
You set me free and i walk not by sight

come have your way, God, here tonight.

You are the god of my beautiful disaster. You are the God my here and my after.

Your plans for me are good. A future and a hope.
You've called me to pray lord your face i will seek.
The more i bow down the more you transform.
The face in the mirror isn't mine that I behold.
You're love will pour out and your mercies will flow.
Your grace more abundant than what i could want.

You are lighting the fire and fanning the flame

You are the God of my here and my after. You are the God of my beautiful disaster

You set me free and your name i will praise you have recreated my beautiful disaster.

You are my without. You are my complete.

"You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God's wrath through him! For if, when we were God's enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life! Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation." - (Romans 5:6-11 NIV)

Allow me to paraphrase utilizing the Strong's definitions of some key words.... This is incomplete but oh so powerful: 
(To retrace my steps click here, then click the Strong's numbers, and then follow back to the root words of each. You can enable the Strong's numbers in the upper right corner of the scripture panel.)

You see, at just the right time, when we were weak, infirm, and feeble without the strength to stand, Christ died for those of us without reverence for God, and without worship or devotion....

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this:  While we were devoted to sin, missing the mark, off the path of honor and had no share in the kingdom, Christ died FOR US. 

Now, we have been rendered righteous as we ought to be and shown as we would wish ourselves to be considered - all because of the blood of Christ.  How much more shall we be kept safe and sound from destruction, healed, and made whole - safe from the wrath of God because of Jesus!

For if, when we were passively hateful, extremely unpleasant, actively hateful or hostile to God, we were received into favor, changed, and transformed through the death of His son, how much more, having been received into favor, changed, and transformed shall we be kept safe and sound from destruction, healed, and made whole through the life of Jesus!

Not only that, but we also take glory (with reason or without) in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received change and reception into favor!
(Romans 5:6-11 paraphrase)

From powerless, ungodly, sinners, who were enemies of God to become justified and reconciled who have been saved from God's wrath.  All because Christ died for us.

Yep.  This is the part where you shout (or cry, or take a few minutes and be very thankful).



Something else I loved about researching this passage... 

Remember the verse from Revelations where we learn that God is the Alpha & Omega? 

"I am the Alpha and the Omega," says the Lord God, "who is, and who was, and who is to come, the Almighty." - (Rev 1:8 NIV)
This fact about God has always reminded me of the very beginning of the world.

"In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters." - (Genesis 1:1-2 NIV)

(I love that there was nothing and God was there.) 

Jesus reminds us that He was "before" as well.

"Jesus said to them, "Most assuredly, I say to you, before Abraham was, I AM."" - (John 8:58 NKJV)

In Romans 5, the words powerless, ungodly, and sinner are all rooted in a combination of a negative particle that indicates "without" and the root word of whatever the word means we are "without".  Similar to how in English the word powerless means without power.

The negative particle used to indicate "without" in Greek?  The letter Alpha.  Wait didn't we just read... yes, we did.

So, God is saying that He is the Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end...

...the without and the complete.

So God was there in my without.  When I was without strength, without reverence, without worship, and without a share of his kingdom; God was there.  Even though I was some form of hateful toward Him, God, "who was," was there.

Not only was He there, but when I was without He could see my complete!

"'Before I formed you in the womb I knew you; Before you were born I sanctified you; I ordained you a prophet to the nations.'" - (Jeremiah 1:5 NKJV)

In this verse the NIV says, "....before you were born I set you apart..."

So now when I am without - without wisdom, without peace, without whatever I need - God is.  HE is my without and he sees my complete.

"If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind." - (James 1:5-6 NIV)

So believe and do not doubt. God is your without. He is your complete. He is all that you need.


So how did that go again?

When we were without, God was there.  While we were without, God set us apart.  We have been rendered righteous as we ought to be and shown as we would wish ourselves to be considered - all because of the blood of Christ.  We have been received into favor, changed, and transformed.  We are being kept safe and sound from destruction, healed, and made whole through the resurrection of Jesus! 

Not only that, but we also take glory - with reason or without (I love that part!) - in God through our Lord Jesus Christ.

I think I can find a reason to rejoice!

I'm only as good as....

Noticed this in my house yesterday.  It started me thinking and has now found its way into my Goodwill basket.

"I am only as good as the wine I drink, the hairspray I use, and the girlfriends I have."

What do you see yourself as being, "only as good as?"

So many of us struggle with self image issues and insecurities. Perhaps it's our looks, talents (or as we see it lack thereof), financial situation, personality, clique acceptance, or ministry gifts.  All of have areas that we struggle with feelings of inferiority.  Even when things are going well and we feel on top of the world, we have benchmarks in our lives that society has taught us are the judges of our success and worth.

I love good wine, love to look my best, and have amazing friends, BUT even if all of those things were not true, I am still fearfully and wonderfully made.

"I praise you because I am fearfully [to stand in awe of] and wonderfully made [to make separate, to stand apart]; your works are wonderful [extraordinary, marvelous], I know that full well." - (Psalm 139:14 NIV)

I'm not a thee and thou kind of girl, but I love the King James Version of this verse because it ends by saying, "that my soul knows very well."

Does your soul know that you are made to stand apart? That you are extraordinary, marvelous, and to be awed?

You are God's workmanship. (Ephesians 2:10)
You were knit together by God while still in your mother's womb (Psalms 139:13)
You were bought with a price. (1 Corinthians 6:19-20)
You are saved by grace and it is a gift from God. (Ephesians 2:8)
You are washed, sanctified, and justified. (1 Corinthians 6:11)
You are reconciled [received into favor] to [by] God. (Romans 5:10)
You are clothed with Christ. (Galations 3:27)
You are the righteousness of God. (2 Corinthians 5:21)
You are justified. (Romans 5:1)
You are sons of God. (Galations 3:26)
You are God's friend. (John 15:15)
You are the body of Christ. (1 Corinthians 12:27)
You are the temple of the Holy Spirit. (1 Corinthians 6:19)

You are more than a conqueror who cannot be separated from God's love. (Romans 8:37-39)

You have peace. (Romans 5:1)

You stand in grace. (Romans 5:2)

You are a chosen people and a royal priesthood. (1 Peter 2:19)

You are chosen to declare God's praises. (1 Peter 2:19)

You are heirs according to promise. (Galations 3:29)

You are heirs of the prophets and of the covenant. (Acts 3:25)

Remind your soul of who you are in Christ.  It's time to get rid of the, "only as good as," mentality!



Pawed

I sat down briefly on a stool this morning and, as usual, one of my dogs sprawled out on the floor in front of me and pawed at my foot wanting me to pet him.  When I didn't respond, he buried his head under a tote bag, whined, and then continued to paw my foot.

Tyson's persistence is always great entertainment for guests in my home and even my husband and I.  All he wants is our attention - a head pat or an occasional belly rub.  As I write this, I have 2 curled up sleeping dogs at my feet who are not happy because the laptop is taking up the space in my lap.


With 3 dogs in 1300sq. ft., our house tends to feel a bit like a menagerie at times.  I can't walk from the bedroom to the kitchen without tripping over a doggy entourage. Rattle a cheese wrapper and you feel like you're being assaulted and nothing creates more excitement than the knowledge that they get to come with me on whatever adventure I'm leaving for...

Something about Tyson's paw and pout moment this morning struck a chord with me.  Perhaps it sounds a bit heretical but it was such a clear - and hard to resist - metaphor that I couldn't turn it down.

Isn't that how God is with his children, pawing at us constantly just wanting us to take a few minutes and spend time with him?  Is God hopeful every time you sit down in your living room that your are going to hang out with him for the next half hour instead of turning on the TV?  And perhaps His greatest pleasure comes from the adventures that we invite Him on... or maybe the ones during which we simply follow Him?


"From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us. 'For in him we live and move and have our being.' As some of your own poets have said, 'We are his offspring.'" - (Acts 17:26-28 NIV)

"For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will-- to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves." - (Ephesians 1:4-6 NIV)

"You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile."" - (Jeremiah 29:13-14 NIV)

We seek and God finds... even if we feel we have been banished.  Love...

Hide me in the cleft of a rock.. besiege my heart

Our most recent excursion into the woods was illustrated by rain.  Beautiful or hated, the clouds gathered, mist rolled in, and heavens dumped water onto a thirsty land.

I love revisiting an area of the forest that I have been in before.  There are always secrets to be revisited and new treasures to be uncovered.  Our blessed secret this time was a huge rock formation called Storyteller Rock. Pictures cannot do justice to the massive expanse of rock that creates a haven of dry stone in its menacing shadow.

I started this trip with anticipation, thinking that there had to be something special waiting for me on a mountain top in the rain.  Instead, I found shelter in the cleft of the rock while I watched the lightening flash and listened to the thunder roll.

"The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold." - (Psalm 18:2 NIV)

"For in the day of trouble he will keep me safe in his dwelling; he will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle and set me high upon a rock. Then my head will be exalted above the enemies who surround me; at his tabernacle will I sacrifice with shouts of joy; I will sing and make music to the LORD." - (Psalm 27:5-6 NIV)

In the lee this huge rock, we watched the storm rage.  The wind whipped, rains poured (I believe the appropriate southern term is "gully washer"), and lightening streaked across the sky.  We were dry, we were safe - we built a fire and roasted marshmallows!  All this while seated on and in the shelter of the rock.

"Do not tremble, do not be afraid. Did I not proclaim this and foretell it long ago? You are my witnesses. Is there any God besides me? No, there is no other Rock; I know not one."" - (Isaiah 44:8 NIV)

"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust." ... If you make the Most High your dwelling--even the LORD, who is my refuge-- then no harm will befall you, no disaster will come near your tent. ... "Because he loves me," says the LORD, "I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He will call upon me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him. With long life will I satisfy him and show him my salvation."" - (Psalm 91:1-2, 9-10, 14-16 NIV)

Now think about it for a minute.  Every story is all about perspective [mental view or outlook], right?  So how else might this story have been written?

In Psalms, the psalmist sings over and over about being sheltered by or placed on a rock. Rock sometimes comes from a word meaning lofty that can mean a stronghold of Jehovah and a place of security, but another word is also used.  That word for rock finds its root in a word meaning to confine, bind, besiege, cramp, and enclose; to shut in or shut up; to fashion or delineate.

Are you roasting marshmallows in your safe place or are you too busy feeling trapped?

How often do we feel trapped in a storm, confined by God's "rules", or besieged by our circumstances?  Do we feel imposed upon by God's lines in our sand?

I can think of several times in (perhaps recent) life when my dialog would have gone something like, "It's horrible!  There is lightening and thunder everywhere!  The wind is high.  I'm terrified!  I don't see why I have to go through something like this!"  Are you wet?  "No."  Are you injured?  "No."  Did any trees fall on you?  "No!" "But I'm trapped underneath this rock and I don't know how I'm ever going to get out!"

"Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows." - (Psalm 23:4-5 NIV)

"Through the valley of the shadow of death.... in the presence of my enemies...." Somehow that isn't always quite where I'd like my rock to be.

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." - (Proverbs 3:5-6 NIV)

Trust - so easy to say, but sometimes so hard to do.  

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." - (Romans 15:13 NIV)

I love how God never expects us to do anything in our own strength. 

Trust, my friends, that those lines in the sand aren't drawn to limit your horizons but to hinder your enemies.  Trust that the small corner in which you feel trapped is your safety in the midst of the storm.  Ask for the power of the holy spirit to enable you to hope.

"You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance. Selah" - (Psalm 32:7 NIV)

The End of Night

"Through the Lord's mercies we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not.They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness." Lamentations 3:22-23 NKJV

Morning:  The end of night, the coming of daylight, bright joy after a night of distress.

God's strong desire to help us is new at the end of every night.  How amazing is that?

You see, mercy, in the new testament, means, "a strong desire to help."  I've always thought of mercy as God throwing us a bone or being nice because he has to but it is so much more than that.  Mercy is God's desire to give aid - to us - every morning after every dark night.

"In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters. And God said, "Let there be light," and there was light. God saw that the light was good, and he separated the light from the darkness. God called the light "day," and the darkness he called "night." And there was evening, and there was morning--the first day." - (Genesis 1:1-5 NIV)

I love that, from the beginning of creation, God spoke into being and created an amazing truth in our lives.  "And there was evening, and there was morning - the first day."  For every darkness, for every night, for time time in our lives that is hopeless and evil or obscured from God, there is morning coming!  God has spoken it into being from the foundation of the world.

Moses prayed in Psalms, "Relent, O LORD! How long will it be? Have compassion on your servants. Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days." - (Psalm 90:13-14 NIV)

God saved Lot in the morning, Abraham stood before the Lord in the morning, God sent Moses to Pharaoh in the morning, and, in the morning, Jesus was not there - the tomb was empty!

Mercy was embodied when God sent His only son, Jesus, to earth, to live in our shoes and to die in our place.  "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." - (John 3:16 NIV)  The pure, living form of God's lovingkindness (mercy means that, too) poured out on us.  

When Jesus was crucified darkness fell over the land and the earth quaked.  "From the sixth hour until the ninth hour darkness came over all the land. About the ninth hour Jesus cried out in a loud voice.... "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"" - (Matthew 27:45-46 NIV)  

Three days later, "As they entered the tomb, they saw a young man dressed in a white robe sitting on the right side, and they were alarmed. "Don't be alarmed," he said. "You are looking for Jesus the Nazarene, who was crucified. He has risen! He is not here. See the place where they laid him." - (Mark 16:5-6 NIV)

Jesus died in the midst of darkness devoid of God, feeling forsaken by God, to conquer darkness and death.  In His resurrection, He made a way for us to have new mercies each and every morning and a direct relationship with the God whose strong desire is to give us aid.  Morning light has dawned, incredible joy after a night of distress!

Prior to his death, Jesus quoted this verse from Isaiah when speaking about himself, "The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of the shadow of death a light has dawned."  (Isaiah 9:2 NIV) (Matthew 4:16 NIV)

Throughout the old testament, God appeared in darkness or deep darkness.  (Exodus 20:18-21) The Hebrew words for darkness mean secret place, obscurity, and even thicker darkness.  Under the law, in the old testament - the Torah if you will - God was secretive and covered in obscurity and his presence caused fear and trembling - a terrifying encounter.  Only one man could stand before God and only once a year.  The "Most Holy Place" was separated by a veil - a curtain bigger and stronger than a wall. "But only the high priest entered the inner room, and that only once a year, and never without blood, which he offered for himself and for the sins the people had committed in ignorance." - (Hebrews 9:7 NIV)

When Jesus was being crucified, darkness covered the earth for 3 hours and the veil in the temple was torn in two from top to bottom.  (Mark 15:38 NIV)  

No longer was God veiled, no longer was God in the deep darkness, no longer was God terrifying and secret, no longer was God obscure. Jesus conquered death, overcame darkness, and became the way for us to know God.

"We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain, where Jesus, who went before us, has entered on our behalf. He has become a high priest forever, in the order of Melchizedek." - (Hebrews 6:19-20 NIV)

Jesus - our high priest - our way to God, our light in darkness.  (John 1) Our deliverance in the moments where God seems obscure and hard to see, our help in days that are so dark we feel like God is invisible, and our beautiful and promised morning that comes with His desire to love us in and out of whatever valley we are experiencing.

I love this description of God, "This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all." - (1 John 1:5 NIV)   What a difference a morning makes!

"Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account. Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are--yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." - (Hebrews 4:13-16 NIV)

"Let us approach.... with confidence..."  Wow.  What a difference a morning makes.

"But what does it say? "The word is near you; it is in your mouth and in your heart," that is, the word of faith we are proclaiming: That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved. As the Scripture says, "Anyone who trusts in him will never be put to shame." For there is no difference between Jew and Gentile--the same Lord is Lord of all and richly blesses all who call on him, for, "Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved."" - (Romans 10:8-13 NIV)

So it's really that simple.  Need a God who has a new strong desire to help you every morning? Confess with your mouth (say) that Jesus is lord (someone to whom you belong who has deciding power) and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead. 

Or maybe you, like me, needed a reminder that God WANTS to help you EVERY morning.  He doesn't hold yesterday over your head.  Maybe you needed to know that you can enter God's presence with confidence and ask for mercy and grace.  "God, I thank you that you want to help me today regardless of how bad of a screw-up I was yesterday."

Maybe you needed to know that there IS going to be a MORNING.  A time of joy after sorrow, a time when God loves on you even if you feel like He is obsured from your view right now.

"....God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." So we say with confidence, "The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?"" - (Hebrews 13:5-6 NIV)

"Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me." - (Psalm 23:4 NIV)

God's strong desire is to help us in every time in our lives when we feel that God is obscure and far away. At the beginning of the world He spoke, "There was evening and there was morning," for each day that He created.  God has promised an end to every night that we experience and lovingkindness and mercy every morning.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile."" - (Jeremiah 29:11-14 NIV)