My friend starts every girls road trip by informing everyone that the space surrounding us during the time we spend together is a, "judgement free zone." The first time I heard her say that I cracked up laughing but it has become a standard phrase in my vocabulary, too. I love starting time shared with friends by declaring "hey, I'm about to be real but you're going to love me anyway. Today I'm not faking it! You have earned entry into a place in my heart that is safe. You are loved with your flaws and scars."
We have the same freedom with our Heavenly Father.
Did you just feel your heart rate go up and your palms get sweaty? Anxiety through the roof? Automatic response, "Yeah right?"
I spent so much of my life shying away from the presence of God, prayer time, whatever you'd like to call it because I didn't want to face God's view of my bad decisions. My "God" - or my brain's view of Him - wielded a pointed finger and demanded perfection. My mind told me that I'd have to give up everything in my life that I viewed as fun and conform to my view of Christian actions before I could face Him and before He would listen or care about what I had to say. I felt that I had to fix me before I could come anywhere near God.
Somehow underneath my learned belief, my heart knew my Jesus and knew that the love that I had felt couldn't co-exist in a God who demanded perfection. Underneath my fear, my guilt, my shame and my condemnation I knew that God loved me. Even in the muck I had created for myself.
God loves me. It's not just a Sunday school song. Wrap your heart around that for a minute. For God so loved the world, (John 3:16), while we were yet sinners (Romans 5:8), he poured his love on us (Romans 5:5, 1 Timothy 1:14).
Why? Because we are a testimony of his Love and goodness. So that I can tell you how much God loves you because I know - without a doubt - how much God loves me.
My heart understood grace even though my legalistic brain couldn't translate that feeling into words.
God's desire for us is simply to fellowship with Him. For us to come hang out with Him.
"Then you will call on me and go and pray to me. And you will seek me and find me when you search for me with all your heart." (Jeremiah 29:12-13) My favorite part of that verse is actually right after that. "and I will be found by you..." Ah! God's just waiting for us to seek so he can be found!
...and then. I love those words. We just spend time with God and then God changes us. Ever so gently, no condemnation, no guilt. "...and then..."
So - come just like you are. Mud and muck included.
Happy "and then..."
You are loved.
